Here is a short and powerful guide to solving all arguments, issues, strains in any type of relationship:
Preliminaries:
1. In your mind, be prepared to solve the issue (commit to NOT yelling or being abusive in any way).
2. In your mind, identify the real issue you guys are arguing about.
Step #1: Never keep a running tally of "wins" and "losses" in your relationship- at least never voice it (this is one of the biggest mistakes that couples make).
Step #2: Watch your language.
Here are a few examples of language choices that will get you nowhere fast:
-- Using the words always and never. Saying something like, "You never help out around here!" will stop any reasonable discussion dead in its tracks… it would be better to start off by saying, "I'd like to talk to you about your share of the workload.
-- Insults and name-calling. Don’t do it!!!
-- Do not use threats (don’t say, “or else!")
Step #3: Focus on one issue at a time. Do not swerve from issue to issue- this way none will be resolved.
Step #4: Pick the right setting- time and place. Out the house in a public place works well- coffee shop, park, walk through a shopping centre.
These are excellent! U R LOVED
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Estelle. Lovely to see you here. ♥♥♥ ⓁⓄⓋⒺ & ⓁⒾⒼⒽⓉ☀☀☀ Alex :)
ReplyDeleteKeep 'em coming Alex! You'll have us all sorted out in no time xx
ReplyDeleteHey Alex, Consider it that you just saved a SOUL SO DEEPLY INLOVE. You're da MAN and My BOTH THUMBS ARE UP FOR YOU!
ReplyDeletethis is perfect!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI'd like to apply to my life....
I agree with your write-up. In fact, step 2 deals with anger management. Anger is a powerful emotion that can affect the happiness of any relationship. Excessive anger is one of the major reasons for constant disputes, abuse and separation of many relationships.
ReplyDelete